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‘In North Carolina a woman should not be surprised to find a transgender man barging into her lavatory’
‘Maybe Germaine Greer should encourage women to become proper owners of proper superyachts’
The FT’s resident agony aunt and uncle discuss social niceties and conundrums
A reader is worried about the new camera on his office computer. Here’s our agony uncle’s solution
‘Halfway through the dinner, one of the managers came over and asked if I was expecting Kate Moss’
‘My wife thinks my snoring is embarrassing and unacceptable, and that out of consideration to others, I shouldn’t go to the cinema’
I dance like a tank on manoeuvres across a grouse moor and bake like an anorexic arsonist
If such an encounter were to act as the catalyst for a carnal relationship, you cannot blame the wine bar or its wine
‘The latest designs have lost a lot of their desirability. They look flashy and ostentatious, fussy with spoilers and hidden vents’
Most people, especially women, regard any ‘official’ photograph of themselves as a question of vanity, rather than verisimilitude
Jeeves did not disapprove of ties that were specifically pink. Rather, he regarded ones that were ‘ornate’ as unsuitable
This shift in political language to a lower denomination was exactly what poets did in order to reach the masses
I once served spring rolls with drinks to Jeffrey Bernard and caught sight of him dropping the crispy pastry on to my carpet
Perhaps children should be taught the waltz, the cha-cha and the jive rather than social studies or graphic design
Having the widest circle of friends of every character is the most fascinating collection one can build in the library of life
An interior designer, for example, might regard an air kiss as a little too cavalier and insufficiently affectionate
It is always boring to ask: ‘So what do you do?’ Sometimes, I start by asking: ‘So, what do you NOT do?’
The car park is dull, the lavatories are dull, the entrances are dull. Everything you get inside these places is dull
Perhaps they should be made to dress like Gandhi, so that they play in a more serene state of mind
Try carrying with you a durian fruit or a lump of Stinking Bishop cheese, or both
The nation’s dinner tables have not seen such spirited and passionate debate for a long time
Picture a blissful Chinese family prospering in colonial Hong Kong — then a fortune teller intervened
I’d carry on without regard to what others think, if only because pleasing one’s wife is the most sensible insurance for longevity
All of us were cast out of the family home and left to fend for ourselves on the advice of a fortune teller
Even the high-rises appear to be the work of a student architect. The entire place seems to be immersed in a depressing greyness
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