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‘There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you — I bet everything on Putin to lose’
‘Welcome to Kew Gardens’
Next up: Biden rematch
‘Last year I didn’t meet any of my work goals, so this year my goal is to fail at everything’
‘Best Oscar speech’
News agencies withdraw photograph from circulation
‘What we need is a pre-election election’
‘An old man versus an old man who is an insurrectionist’
‘Am I good enough at what I do to warrant imposter syndrome?’
‘I’m counting on a fairly sizeable bribe at the next election’
‘He’s targeting the six-fingered vote’
‘I’m an un-non dom’
‘I make AI deep fakes of myself having a good time’
‘If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days’
‘Has anyone asked Horizon what it thinks?’
Message in a boat
Tractors and farm workers block roads, causing traffic jams
Missile fired by submarine HMS Vanguard crashed into the sea moments after launch at end of January
‘Now that I’ve solved all my problems, I think I’m ready to create more’
‘ . . . and the hungriest black hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after’
Prizes for director Christopher Nolan and actors Cillian Murphy and Robert Downey Jr
‘The economy’s turning a corner’
‘We could cut down a bit on our shoplifting’
‘I can’t believe they didn’t have cutting boards’
‘I suppose it’s too late to start testing on animals?’
International Edition